Forget & Forgive
by Camy99
Summary: Becoming a teenage amnesiac makes things so much easier to forgive. T for occasional language.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: For once this is important. This fic is inspired by the book ****Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac**** by Gabrielle Zevin. I don't completely follow the same story, but that's where I got the idea. It's an amazing book, so once you're done with this do read it! Oh, and I also don't own Hannah Montana—I can't believe I still have to inform you of this. **

**Also, before you even try to figure it out—Miley/Hannah does not exist in this story. Sorry, I love her but yeah… I hope this doesn't stop you from reading (:**

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"Miss, we can't allow you into the truck."

"Are you serious? Look, you're lucky I actually want to go with her don't make me have to beg."

"I'm sorry. Relatives only. Are you in any way related to her?"

Pause. "Oh! Well yeah… I'm her second cousin. Crazy, I know, but I am. So let me in, will ya?"

Followed by a bunch of busy noise.

I tried to blink my eyes open to figure out what the racket was all about but the mere attempt shot incredible pain towards my skull. I resorted to squinting and snapped a mental picture of my surroundings.

First off, I was lying down in what I quickly figured out to be an emergency vehicle. A girl, who I assumed to be the second cousin from the earlier conversation, sat parallel to me nervously tapping her hand against her knee. As far as I was concerned, I didn't have a second cousin I knew of, so I figured she was a friend who had used the excuse to get in with me. Ambulances can be irritating like that.

She had either black or extremely dark brown (my eyesight wasn't really focused) wavy hair a bit past shoulder length. Her fidgeting pale hands and large chestnut eyes now focused on her cellphone as she anxiously texted. When she'd finished she exhaled heavily through her lush pink lips—which were the only live things on her. The rest of her visible skin was as pale as her hands as if she'd been in the cold too long, a theory she accentuated by the black long sleeve she wore on top of her matching tight jeans. She could either be considered straight-up eerie or perplexingly striking. You know, like a vampire. Either way, I had no idea who she was and why'd she want to be by my side.

She caught my squinting eyes, "Don't even start glaring at me. Look, it'd be best if you just calmly lie down until we get there, okay? I'm trying my best to get a hold of someone." Her voice was just as eerie (or perhaps striking?) as she was, add on to that unnecessarily snappy. She mumbled something else to herself but I took it as my cue to stop analyzing her, so I turned my attention to myself.

It couldn't have been that cold because I was wearing a tank top, something I only did if it was ridiculously hot. I felt something tight around my knees and after slight movement recognized them as knee pads. Skateboarding. That's what I had to have been doing. I then started imagining all the possible circumstances that could have brought me here but another heave of pain approximately 10x worse than the previous one shot across my brain. I uncontrollably cried out in pain to anyone who could hear.

"What the heck? Do something!" I heard my snappy companion shout.

"Not until a doctor sees her. She may need a scan and we can't interfere," the EMT replied with a bored voice as if he got these types of requests all the time.

By now the throbbing had "subsided" to a nagging migraine. Although I still had no knowledge of who she was, I figured the girl had come along for something so I threw my hands to her, wordlessly begging for something to grip on.

She took the cue and put whatever earlier made her snappy aside to caress my hand. Even this she did a bit uneasily as she continued harassing the EMTs. "_Dude_! She needs help _NOW_. Instead of just standing watching her die in pain, why don't you put your skills to some good use?"

I smiled in my head—because it hurt too much to actually do so—I liked her already.

"Not until she sees the doctor. Five minutes," the bored voice replied.

"Sorry Lilly," she quickly said my way. "And you guys call yourselves doctors. Lame."

"Actually... we don't."

As much as I enjoyed the smack down of words, the worry built in me. "What-what's going on?" I managed to whimper without destroying what was left of my head.

Both the EMT and the girl sighed. "Don't worry," he said and she repeated as comfortingly as she could manage. But sometimes the more people tell you not to worry, the more you do. I closed my eyes and focused on getting rid of the pain so it would hopefully not kill me within the next five minutes.

_What on earth had I gotten myself into now?_

--

The second time I woke up, I was still in a lying position except I was unmoving and the racket around me and in my brain had defused. Once again, it didn't take much to figure out I was in a hospital bed.

I was about to conclude that my bedside companion from the ride over had also disappeared when I heard her voice. "That's… wow. Okay. Alright. And they said they'll be here ASAP too." I wondered who _they_ referred to. Hopefully someone I knew.

Eventually the voice matched up with a figure as she made her way to the other side of the curtain followed by the doctor. She sat down and I stared at her waiting for her to say something but she seemed to be doing the same thing. The only thing that I wanted to say was ask her who on earth she was—not the best conversation starter, so I looked at the doctor hoping he was feeling a bit more talkative than she.

"How are you feeling Lilly?"

"Kind of freaked out."

"Don't be. You'll be fine; you just hurt your head a bit."

I wanted elaboration on this "hurting of my head". "Uh, yeah, what exactly happened?"

"That'd be a question I believe your friend Mya here could best answer."

_Mya_. Good, I was getting tired of referring to her as _the girl_.

I glanced at Mya. "You were doing some trick and lost your balance."

As perplexed as I was, I immediately connected the word trick to skateboarding. "Was I not wearing a helmet?"

She continued staring at me as if I were an alien. "It must not have been tied because it flew off as you fell." I frowned, I always double-checked these things.

"Mind if I ask you some questions?" The doctor asked once he figured my conversation with Mya was over. I shook my head. "Can you tell me your full name?"

I raised my eyebrows as I glanced at the chart he held. Was he just messing with me because it was pretty obvious the answer was right in front of him. "Lillian Rose Truscott," I told him anyways.

He nodded. "Okay, what year is it?"

I considered yelling at him to ask me some helpful questions when I realized the answer that popped into my head couldn't be right. It couldn't have been because if it were I'd be 12. This led me to realize that although I wasn't exactly sure how old I was, I could feel it that I wasn't 12. I glanced at Mya. I felt like I could be more along her age... whatever that was; she looked well into her teenage years. I glanced back at the doctor and told him the only answer I knew, "…2004?" Even before Mya's quiet gasp and the doctor's twisted face I knew I was off. The question was how off?

--

The basic gist of it was that I could not remember the last five years. I was a 12-year-old living in the body of a 17-year-old with no recollection of the years in between. The doctors said that fortunately the world hadn't changed to the point where I suddenly had to learn how to operate a robot, so if I were to go on with life normally I should be fine. I think it was supposed to be a joke—doctors have not gotten much funnier in the last five years.

All it did was frustrate me. I get upset when I can't remember something someone told me a few days ago. _But five years?!_ That's enough time to start an entire new life, meet new people, and become someone else, especially at seventeen. What kind of teenager was I? How many of my friends had I drifted away from?

I soon found out that the 'they' Mya spoke of earlier was my mom. (Yes, I know she's only one person and 'they' is plural but people often did that anyways for she represented my _parents_). Fortunately, after a certain age five years doesn't really change much so she didn't appear like a complete stranger to me. After asking me if I was okay more times than necessary and scolding me about not tying my helmet, Mya said she'd be back tomorrow.

Before she visited me again though I found it necessary to at least know who she was so I could thank her properly. "Mya Diane McIntire," she said with a hidden smile as if it were a crime to, "I'm a… school friend, kind of. I just… happened to be there at the time of your accident and thought I should help you out is all."

"Okay," I smiled. "Nice to meet you Mya. Or.. I guess I've already met you I just don't remember it. Anyways, thank you."

She and my mom exchanged a stiff glance and nod, and then she left. I had a feeling I would have more of these awkward encounters over the next few days, but didn't let it bother me for the moment as I drifted off to sleep yet again.

--

As soon as I was allowed to receive a visitor at 9:30am, two came in with a bundle of turquoise balloons huge enough to fill in a bath tub, followed by the same doctor. I sat up and grinned as I recognized the girl as Mya. I thanked her as the guy who'd walked in in front of her attached the balloons to the side of my bed. It didn't completely surprise me that I didn't recognize him. Bits of his short and shaggy black hair stuck out here and there from his black beanie which created a shadow over his face making me incapable of analyzing it. He had a slim and tall frame. Then again, everyone appeared tall to my 12-year-old mind but I found out yesterday that when I stood up I was barely an inch shorter than Mya. He matched Mya in wearing all black and I humorously wondered if they were related and it ran in the family. Although with him, the vampire look was unquestionably attractive.

"How're you doing, Lils?" He had a calming deep voice I could have used during my freak out in the ambulance. And by the nickname, I realized he was someone else I was supposed to know but couldn't remember. Super.

I skipped to the chase on this one, "I'm sorry, who are you again?"

Somewhere underneath his beanie, I could feel his eyes staring at me. I thought it was a simple enough question. I'd lost my memory, and could not remember most people. But he seemed unable or unwilling to answer. Instead his head snapped towards the doctor who'd been silently sitting at the foot of my bed. "How jacked up is her memory? She has to remember me, no matter how many years off she is!" His calming voice quickly transitioned to a mix of upset and bewildered.

I bit my lip, "I-I'm sorry."

"Maybe you just look too different, dude. At least take off the beanie." So far the only person I hadn't heard Mya call dude was me, but I didn't pay attention to that as I watched the guy take off his beanie.

The first place my eyes focused on was his dark eyes, and my body automatically flew itself towards my preschool best friend. Or at least what he'd become. "Oliver!"

"Geez Lils, don't do that to me," his voice returned to the calming one I knew but with a deeper tone than I was used to.

"Well, it's not my fault you look…"_ hotter, mysterious, enchanting, did I mention hot??_ "…older."

The doctor smiled. "Fantastic, having friends you remember can help you jog your memory." I joyfully grinned towards Oliver, which he returned with a tight smile. Seriously, when did it become illegal to smile around here? "Now let's try to spot exactly where you are. What is the last thing you remember, Lilly?"

I thought back. Obviously the last thing I remembered was the ambulance ride with Mya but I knew that's not what he meant. So I thought back even further and reached the end of sixth grade which only felt like a week ago. As my eyes unintentionally drifted towards Oliver, I saw the short, skater brunet I'd grown up with. And at this point in my memory, I last remembered falling for him.

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****I'm so excited for this story! It should be about 8 chapters long (I wrote a strict outline that I plan to keep this time!!), 10 at the most. I know some of you may be like, why not just have made Miley Mya? Well… just go with it for now mkay? Review….xoxCamy**


	2. Chapter 2

**Lexiheartspeace, now I feel pressured to make this story at least half as good as the book for ya lol. Enjoy (:**

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Oliver came to visit every day accompanied by Mya. For the last few days, Mya no longer came and Oliver said things like "she says hi". I didn't mind because I knew there was a load of catching up I had to do with just him. How was school? How was life? How had this whole getting a huge crush on him thing turn out over the last five years? Kind of a biggie.

"I still can't believe you lost your balance. Is that really what happened?" He asked as we shared a plate of cookies my mom had asked him to bring.

I shrugged, "I don't know. I guess."

"Well, what trick were you possibly performing that it threw you off that bad?"

I frowned at him. Oliver may have changed dramatically physically, but his brain was still slowly catching up. "Oliver, I have amnesia. I don't remember anything past the end of 6th grade. As far as I'm concerned the last trick I know how to do are the slides and grinds you taught me."

He started to smile but shook his head, "Wow that was a long time ago. You're… you're much better than that now."

This unwillingness to portray too much joy and hesitance between statements were things I had to get used to over the last few days. It kind of irritated me because it always made me feel like I was constantly out of the loop on something.

I stared at a cookie solemnly, "Oliver… what am I like? I mean, before my amnesia."

I looked up at him but he refused to maintain eye contact for more than a few seconds at a time, "You're… you, except older I guess." I raised my eyebrows. And finally, he smiled without restraint. "Don't worry about it, Lils."

I sighed, "Okay. What are you like?"

"Lilly…" he groaned.

"Oliver, I am missing five years of my life. No matter what the doctors say, I can't just get up and go on as if nothing had happened." _Not to mention that where I'm at in time, I've fallen for you. _He looked down and nodded. "What about Mya? Who exactly is she?"

His eyes widened for only a mere moment, like a flash, and he looked out the window. "Well, what did she tell you?" He tried to make this sound humorous, and as much as I didn't think it was I couldn't help chuckle.

"Well for a few minutes she was my second cousin." I finally got to hear what his laugh sounded like and for a bit it made me feel like we were both 12 again. "But that was only to get in the ambulance. Other than that I just know we go to school together."

He nodded, "What do you think of her?"

"Nothing, really. Well besides the fact she took part in saving my life that is."

He smiled again, and I was really enjoying those. "This amnesia thing may not be that bad you know. I find it fascinating you get to re-meet people. Give them a second chance."

I narrowed my eyes, "Why do I need to give her a second chance?"

He glanced at me and shook his head, "No, I didn't necessarily mean her. I meant in general. You get to see people a different way."

I rolled my eyes and figured out this was another one of those questions he was going to try his best not to answer. "Sure."

--

Walking through the hallways on the first day of my senior year—_senior!_—was more awkward than I could have myself imagined. Students either tried their best to avoid eye contact or they creepily stared at me as if I'd descended from another planet. I felt like a new student again, the only problem is that to them I wasn't. They knew me more than I knew myself and held expectations of me from the last three or more years… which I had no memory of. Every one out of about 20 students, I would recognize someone from elementary, but none I necessarily felt like talking to so I stuck with Oliver—and by default Mya.

"Why are you squinting so much?" Mya asked me as we walked to our lockers. Well, it was more like me following them to theirs because I still had no idea what I was doing. There were no lockers in 6th grade. And right now, it'd be recess not time for another ridiculously long class that I cared absolutely nothing about.

"I feel like I'm constantly staring straight into the sun. The doctor said that my injury would make things appear brighter but I didn't think he meant this bright; it's killing me."

Mya shrugged it off, "Gee, that sucks"—

I didn't listen to the rest of her statement as Oliver handed me his beanie. "Here, wear this it'll create a shadow over your eyes." Mya twisted her face in disapproval. I didn't quite know what there was to disapprove of so I thanked him. "Don't worry, I've got these," he added fetching a pair of pilot sunglasses from his locker. I shrugged; I didn't know why he found it absolutely necessary to constantly cover his face somehow. Though it did help in mission 'Become the 17-year-old Lilly that has apparently gotten over her crush on her best friend', also simply known as mission 'Get memory back'.

My next class was AP Spanish, the first and only class I seemed to have with Oliver. I didn't know what to find more bizarre—the fact that I was in the advanced class when I failed at learning languages or the fact that Oliver and I had only managed to get one class together.

I didn't get to ponder this as I was ambushed by people's long, obnoxious stares. Even those who'd at first attempted to avoid all eye contact were suddenly intrigued in the staring contest. Most of their eyes seemed to dash towards Oliver's beanie resting on my head, so I lowered it over my eyes. I always wore (or used to wear, I don't know) Oliver's clothes, I didn't know when or why it had suddenly became such a huge deal.

As Oliver escorted me to the cafeteria at lunch I decided to ask him about it. "Why are people staring at me so much?"

"They don't know what to tell you, Lils. It's like you're a new student but"—

I interrupted his repetition of my earlier thoughts. "No, I've gotten used to that. I mean, ever since I borrowed your beanie this morning, people have just been…weird."

He fixed his sunglasses and then flipped his hair. I noticed the flip kind of failed in comparison to what it did back in sixth grade. But I didn't mind because that was one of the things that usually gave me butterflies. He chuckled, "They're just so used to seeing me with it."

I realized he was right. Ever since the hospital, I don't remember a day without him wearing it. I made a mental note to wash it if I managed to take it home with me, and grinned.

The lunch lady growled, "Next!" but her face suddenly lit up when we stepped in front of her.

"Is that supposed to be normal too?" I mumbled towards Oliver.

"Uhh," he stuttered. He glanced back and forth between the lunch lady and me, and then removed his guiding hand from my back, "I'm gonna go join Mya at our lunch table outside. Come on out when you're done, okay?" He stuck his hands in his pockets and shuffled out before I could follow the situation.

I sighed and just got some fruit because my hunger was disturbed by my constant confusion. I easily spotted Oliver and Mya because their table was the only one lucky enough to be under a tree. The air already felt cold the moment I stepped outside, even though it was early September, so under the shade I was freezing. "Are you sure you guys don't want to sit inside?"

"Are you kidding, it's boiling hot in there," Mya said and Oliver nodded.

"Why, are you cold?" Oliver asked anyways.

I was getting colder by the second. "Nah, I'm fine."

From there on lunch pretty much lacked in interesting conversation. Well, Oliver and Mya were deep in many conversations but I had no idea what they were talking about half the time so I stopped paying attention and focused on stopping my shivering. Eventually Oliver also noticed this and offered me his jacket. As cold as I was, I refused—I didn't really intend on causing some sort of revolution around campus considering it was now apparently illegal to wear your best friends clothes. Sheesh, high schoolers and their rules.

--

I woke up—I didn't even know I had fallen asleep—to Oliver asking me if I wanted a ride home. I realized I'd completely missed my pre-calculus class and wondered when he'd walked in. I smiled, "Sure, thanks. I guess my injury makes me reidiculously tired. It sucks that all this time I've wanted to know how to drive, and once I do, I forget how."

"Guess that's why I'm here, huh." I smiled and noticed Mya walking our way. "Hey Mya, I'm gonna give her a ride home since, you know, she can't drive anymore. I'll, uh, we'll talk to you later," he said all of this before Mya even opened her mouth so she just nodded, waved goodye to me and kept walking.

Oliver used to always be a step behind things and that was what I used to make fun of him but now he constantly seemed to rush things, and it was getting annoying. Which is good, because annoying wasn't a likeable trait, right? And I needed to get over him. Or did I? Honestly I had no idea where we stood nowadays?

"You know," I started once we got into his car. Seeing him in the driver's seat kind of killed the not-liking-him idea because I always had a thing for a guy who could drive. "You never told me what we turned out like."

I noticed his grip on the steering wheel tightened. 'What do you mean?"

I shrugged. I knew what I meant but I couldn't get to it without making it awkward. "Things happen. Even to the closest of best friends. Especially in five years. So I was wondering… if anything happened to us. You know, in our friendship," I quickly added.

He slowly shook his head and then exhaled, but didn't answer for a while. The whole time I impatiently stared at him, and when I was about to ask again he turned into my driveway. "Like you said, things happen. But we'll always be friends," he finally looked at me since we'd left the school and smiled.

I ignored his smile and concentrated on his tone. Secrets were hidden deep inside that sentence and I knew I had to get them out before I burst. "Aren't you going to come inside?" I asked, standing outside the passenger door. It felt unnatural that I actually had to ask him to come in when usually I'd be pushing him out the door. Something had happened to our friendship, and he couldn't keep it away from me for too long.

--

"Um, -_é, -aste, -ó, -amos, -astaís, -aron_…?" I listed with my eyes closed.

"Perfect," he clapped.

"Oh my gosh, finally!" I cheered joyfully. We'd resorted to fitting in some study time in the living room, which was a _lot_ considering I was mentally six grades behind. Because AP Spanish was the only class we shared that's what we started with. When Oliver and I would ever resort to studying and actually stick to it, I don't know, but for the moment I decided to just roll with it because he seemed comfortable with it.

"I guess I'm that great of a teacher," he grinned—a first since about a week now.

"Whatever," I jokingly rolled my eyes. I tilted my head as I admired him.

He caught my eyes and I gave him my best smile. I know, I know, the point was to get over him but flirting _a little_ wouldn't hurt! I'm technically twelve thus immature, leave me alone. "I'm thirsty," he suddenly said.

I lifted my head, flinging my hair in the process, and raised my eyebrows. "Okay…"

"You want me to…" He pointed towards the kitchen.

"Well, you know where everything is—or at least, you did. Either way, with my mom, everything's still the same even five years later."

"Okay." He took the Spanish book off his lap but before he stood up I noticed my pencil was missing. I glanced his way about to ask him if he'd seen it but I solved the mystery before I opened my mouth. I reached for his ear before he stood, but he instantly backed up as his body froze.

I frowned. "I'm sorry… I was just getting my pencil," I said as I untucked it from behind his ear. "I see that hasn't changed," I tried to loosen him up but I could tell it hadn't really worked as he hastened himself to the kitchen. I sighed and shut my notebook as I waited for him to come back.

He sat back down tossing a soda can beside him as he texted someone—for the hundredth time since we'd been here.

I forgot to wipe off my annoyed look as he finished and looked up, "Oh, um, Mya says hi."

I raised my eyebrows and nodded. "Mya, she's interesting. If I didn't know you, I'd say you guys are related you look so alike sometimes," I lightly chuckled.

"Huh," was his reply. Or grunt.

"How'd we meet her?" I asked as nonchalantly as possible.

"We, uh... at a party."

I slowly nodded. So I was a partying teenager. Fun… I guess. He got another text. I was getting tired of this, "Not to sound rude because I'm really only wondering but… why are we friends with her, again?"

He looked up when he finished reading and sighed. He looked around for a second and then finally looked right into my eyes as I tried my best to ignore the stupid butterflies I was getting, he softly said, "Lils, Mya's my girlfriend."

It was my turn. My body, butterflies and all, completely froze but I couldn't take my eyes off his as mine suddenly teared up.

**----**

**And that's why Miley couldn't be Mya. I couldn't get myself to write her as Oliver's girlfriend. This is getting harder than I thought because I sometimes forget that Lilly is technically supposed to be 12, so I tried to sprinkle that in here and there. Hope you liked it! Review? xoxCamy**


	3. Chapter 3

**I planned on waiting for my laptop before continuing, but that's taking longer than I expected so I'll just continuing borrowing my mom's…**

**--**

"Lil-Lilly…" He stuttered.

I finally found the strength to throw my hands to my face and bolted to the kitchen. I opened the fridge and pretended to look for something as I took the time to recollect. I eventually took out a water bottle and turned around to see he'd followed me and was sitting on the island.

He stared at me with no expression on his face, "You okay?" As if my reaction was that extraordinary.

I ripped off the wrapping around the bottle. "I just don't get why you didn't tell me right away…" I knew the true reason that had brought tears to my eyes, and I wondered if he had any idea.

"I know I should have… and I tried to but"—

"Lies!" I yelled, pounding the bottle on the counter. "Don't say you tried to tell me because you didn't! For the last two weeks I've been trying to get you to tell me something about my life, _anything_, and you constantly refused to. So don't try to sell me that crap about"—

"Okay, okay fine!" He looked up at me and I let myself relax as I stared back at him. He sighed, "Fine, I'll tell you. But Lils, you've got to understand, some things… maybe they're just worth forgetting. Maybe it's best if"—

"Would you just tell me?!" I screeched. I loved how we wouldn't let each other finish any statement. Again, some things just never change.

"Tell you what? That you had a boyfriend too?" He blurted angrily.

Me? Boyfriend? _Had?_ I opened my mouth but nothing came out.

"Jason Lee Parker," he continued but he's eyes were now tilted upwards the way you do when you're remembering. "Graduated last year. Very… tall," he shrugged.

I scrunched my eyebrows. Tall? That was the best he could come up with? "Can you tell me more about him..?"

He exhaled and shrugged again. I could tell he really didn't care about this boyfriend of mine. "You broke up with him."

I looked down; that wasn't exactly the information I was fetching for but I decided to go with it. "…because he was graduating?"

He abruptly shifted his eyes to look directly into mine. It scared me a bit for they depicted sorrow, pain, or maybe even regret? I wasn't sure, but I knew it couldn't be too good. Without looking away—something he usually did while speaking nowadays—he mumbled, "Sure."

I narrowed my eyes, "I don't believe you."

He looked down, "I know. But that's all you need to know."

My mouth flew open. "Oh really? And who are you to tell me what I need to know or not?! Isn't that for me to decide!" He was really starting to get on my nerves with the way he controlled my memory.

"Lils, if you knew"—

I shook my hand and held up my hand to cut him off. "No, you know what let me ask you something. Do I even _like_ Mya? Or is that something else you're just deciding for me?"

He ran his hands through his hair, frustrated. "Well, don't you like her now?"

"Because I didn't know she was your girlfriend!" I yelled before thinking twice about it. I bit my lip, wondering if he'd realized my jealousy. But he continued our fight as if that was expected of me.

"See, that's why I didn't want to tell you!"

"Lying to me isn't going to help me any! Why are you even dating her, because she looks like you? Or has double initials like you? If you like her because you think she's like you, well she's not! You may have cut and dyed your hair to look like her, but you're still the same freakin' Oliver I knew. And there's nothing you can change about that! I just wish you could see it too."

I knew my eyes were teary again as he stared at me, and I wish I could dramatically walk out but this was my house so I waited for him to move. As much as I wanted him gone, I couldn't get myself to tell him to leave, so we just stood/sat there staring. I wasn't sure whether he was stunned I'd burst like that or if that was normal of me, in fact I couldn't tell what he was thinking at all.

"Oliver, you're going to need to say something," I cracked.

His hand forcefully held his dark bangs out of his eyes. "You've… you've never told me that."

"What do you mean?"

He took in a deep breath and took his time to let it out. "You hate Mya." I rolled my eyes; I kind of had that figured out. Though I somewhat felt bad because I couldn't really muster any hate for her at the moment. I didn't think she was the right girl for him, but she'd mostly been friendly to me so I couldn't _hate_ her. "You've just never told me why. At least not like that."

I raised my eyebrows. I've always been an outspoken person; I don't know why I would hold myself back from pointing out the stupidity in trying to look like his girlfriend. "Are we... are we no longer friends because of her?"

He shook his head, and when I was about to sigh with relief he added, "No, not because of her."

And my sigh caught midway in my throat. He was right; I didn't want to know anything else. I didn't know what worse than his girlfriend could break our once indestructible bond.

"I'm—I'm getting tired," I whimpered underneath held back tears. I just made my way to my room, and left him to leave or keep sitting there for all I cared.

--

"Someone's at the door!" I yelled. My mom didn't answer so I figured she was sleeping. I was sleeping too, in fact, but the doorbell woke me up. I carefully made my way downstairs hoping not trip—one head injury at a time please.

"Hey Lils." The dark figure behind the door said once I opened it.

"Hey…" I shivered a bit at the cool breeze that made its way past him.

He noticed this and sped up his visit. "Here," he handed me a CD case. "Just listen to it. Hopefully it'll… explain. At least a bit. See ya." And then left.

I blinked a few times, and then closed the door before freezing to death. I figured I might as well listen to it considering I wouldn't be able to fall asleep with all my curiosity. I looked over the case '_Songs depicting the life and times of Lilly Truscott & Oliver Oken_' was written in the center with Sharpie. I quietly laughed to myself, and made a note to self to convince Oliver not to go in the CD-name writing business. I opened and looked over the list of songs. Most of them I didn't recognize for they'd come out within the last five years.

I popped the CD into my laptop and planned to carefully listen to each of them for their meaning.

_We were both young when I first saw you_

_I close my eyes and the flashback starts_

_Me standing there on the balcony in the summer air…_

The first song sounded country/pop-ish. Not something Oliver would listen to but I immediately liked it. Not only for the song, but it didn't take a rocket scientist to identify it as a love song. I looked at the list, it read '_1. Love Story – Taylor Swift'_. The title helped too.

By the time it ended for the 7th time it was 2am. I stopped the CD. I'd listened to the song in every way possible; I didn't know what it could mean. Well, I knew what it _could _mean, but was that what he wanted to say or was I off again?

**AN…**

_**1. Love Story **__– Taylor Swift_

_**2. Crush **__– David Archuleta_

_**3. These Are the Moments – **__Edwin McCain_

_**4. Love Remains the Same – **__The Cure_

_**5. Don't Speak – **__No Doubt_

_**6. Hope It Gives You Hell **__– All American Rejects_

_**7. Hate That I Love You **__– Ne-yo & Rihanna_

_**9. Mr. Brightside **__– The Killers_

_Bonus Track: __**Careless Whisper – **__Seether_

**--**

**Wow, I wrote that all in one sitting! I know it's shorter than the others... but it was supposed to be. I put the all the titles in the CD at the end for your sake. Any guesses about what they each represent? (Hint: They're in chronological order of.. something ;) ) xoxCamy**


	4. Chapter 4

**I would like to quickly point a mistake in the previous chapter. Love Remains the Same is by **_**Gavin Rossdale.**_** Not '**_**The Cure**_**'. That was an editing error, sorry.**

* * *

I'd just gotten out of first period and now exchanged books at my locker—which I finally could operate on my own. My mom dropped me off this morning because she had a later start so I had yet to see Oliver. I wasn't sure if I wanted to yet though; I still didn't know what to tell him after listening to 'Love Story' all night.

Somehow I snapped out of my thoughtful trance, just in time to see Mya turn the corner. She glanced back and caught my stare and narrowed her eyes a bit—she knew I knew. Nonetheless she suddenly turned around and walked to me.

"Look, I know you know you should hate me. But does that really mean you have to? I wouldn't mind continuing pretending to be your friend if"—

I smiled and nodded, signaling that I agreed with the friendship deal. I quickly jumped to what currently occupied my mind, "Oliver made me a CD… to explain stuff. I haven't listened to all of it yet but it sounds interesting so far."

"Yeah, he does that. In fact, that was part of how he asked me out." I raised my eyebrows; part of me didn't really care to hear this but I listened anyways. "He put the song 'Love Story'—you probably don't know it, it's relatively new—by Taylor Swift on a loop 10 times on a CD and was like 'If you don't get it after 10 times, I don't know if I wanna date you anymore'." She giggled.

And I laughed too. But, unlike her, I was laughing because I very well knew the song 'Love Story'. Kind of had become fairly familiar with it in the last 12 hours, I'll say.

This made me wonder even more what it meant. Is he saying he asked me out at some point in time?? Or was this just about when he asked Mya out? Either way, I knew better than to mention it to her until I had it figured out.

--

A month had passed by and I hadn't really attained any success in my missions—one trying to figure out the CD and the other getting over my childhood crush on my best friend who had a girlfriend. I swore that second one just got more complex as time passed.

"What do you want to do?" I asked aimlessly as we sat in his car recently parked in my driveway.

"What do you mean?" he asked his rearview mirror as he fixed his hair—something he was then paranoid about and now _absolutely_ _obsessed _with.

"Let's go do something, it's a beautiful day!" I turned to face him.

He chuckled, "Okay… wanna get a smoothie?"

I rolled my eyes, "Nah, I think I've had my fair share of smoothies lately." It seemed every time I suggested we do something it was automatically either _Rico's_ or—

"So you wanna go skate?"

--that. With Mya involved every other time.

"_No_ Oliver, there are other things we did besides drink smoothies and ride our boards!"

He raised his eyebrows and tilted his head in thought, "I… guess…"

I sighed as I went through another typical moment of 'How freakin' deteriorated has our friendship gotten?!?!?' "Let's go to the park!" I tried to say gleefully.

He finally fully turned to face me as he burst out laughing. "The park? Really? How much of your head is injured right now?"

"Hey, watch it!" I playfully smacked his arm. "And what's wrong with hanging out at the park?"

He stared at me with a wide grin I'd finally managed to regularly get on his face. "Nothing. Let's go."

--

It was now sunset and I skillfully turned around in my swing so as to watch it.

"This makes it kind of impossible to push you, Lils," Oliver said backing up so my legs wouldn't hit him. Besides wanting to watch the sunset, I wanted to talk to him which I knew we couldn't do seriously if I wasn't facing him.

"I can swing on my own you know."

"I know, but I was having fun. Now stop trying to injure me, and keep your legs down; I'll push your knees."

"Fine." I leaned my head against the chain as I felt the pressure against my knees—occasionally missing and getting my thighs—every few seconds. "You're missing a wonderful sunset."

He watched me and smiled as I swung back down, "I'll live."

For a while I just watched him watch me watch the sunset—which I obviously wasn't doing if I was watching him, but he didn't need to know that. He'd never regained his beanie from me so now he always wore his sunglasses. Because it was dark though, he had them hanging on the neck of his navy v-shirt which extended the peak of his bare skin just a bit. The purplish light angelically shined against his jet black hair somehow making his chocolaty eyes pop out more. And I'm not even going to describe the tingles I felt each time his hands missed my knees.

"Why don't we hang out as much?" I asked nonchalantly also trying to distract my mind.

"What makes you think that?"

"It's been nearly a month now, yet each time I ask you to hang out you sound so surprised as if I'd never ask you to do such a thing."

"Well, we go to _Rico's_ and skating all the time. The park… yeah, that's a little more… out there," he chuckled. He looked like he was thinking about something again.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Huh?"

"Oliver…" I glared at him. I really hoped he wouldn't try to avoid the situation again.

He sighed, defeated. "The last time we went to the park."

"When was that?"

He looked at me, "Quite a while ago."

"Oliver, a while ago for me is like fifth grade."

He laughed a bit, "Hah, no, more like junior high."

"Geez, so not once in high school we came here? That's forever!"

"Kinda," he mumbled.

"Why?"

He held on to my knees to slow me to a stop, "I… don't know."

It was a good idea for him to hold on to my knees because I had the strong urge to kick him. "Of course you don't," I grumbled.

He tried to help me off the swing but I refused and got off myself. "We should go; I haven't even started that ridiculous Spanish paper."

I couldn't help but laugh, "Oliver, it's due tomorrow."

"Exactly why we need to jet out of here," he laughed too, and took my hand as we ran to his car.

--

"Alright, despite your annoying will to tell me anything, I had fun," I smiled. I stood against my door and I had to tilt my head upwards because he was taller than me and he stood only a few inches in front of me.

"Yeah, you were right, we should do that again."

"Oh no, I've got something better planned for next time, but you'll just have to wait and see," I teased, pocking his chest.

"Can't wait," he smiled.

I gave him a quick hug goodbye. These usually last approximately two seconds. Four max. I wasn't counting but I knew we'd passed all legal goodbye hugs time limits. Nonetheless, I couldn't get myself to let go. Even though he was taller than me I could still easily prop my head on his shoulders and perfectly tilt it into his neck. I wondered if it was normal for it to fit so comfortably.

Don't think I was holding him captive either, I'd mentally promised myself that if he'd let go I would let him, but he had made no intention to do so either—and I didn't mind. The street lights in front of my house turned off from lack of movement so that we now stood in nearly complete darkness.

I finally separated, but only to reconnect through our lips. I could say I didn't know what overtook me, yet I knew I'd wanted to this for the longest time. He didn't back off. In fact, he kissed me back more forcefully and deeper and way better than I'd ever expected. Ever. Even when I'd almost gotten the guts to do this back in 6th grade. I know this is the typical girl thing to say after a kiss but seriously, it was perfect.

We separated when our lungs nearly collapsed from lack of oxygen. I don't know if I looked as shock and out of breath as I felt, but he looked completely calm. Way too calm. "You've done this before," my voice came out a whisper.

"Kissed a girl? Well Mya and I _have_ been dating for over two years now so"—

"No." I wanted to hit him again but couldn't find the strength to. "Kissed me."

I looked him straight in his eyes which lightly glistened in the moonlight; he unexpectedly tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. "You're right."

--

The school day was a complete daze to me. Nothing major happened. In Spanish, Oliver and I partnered off to correct each other's papers but an on-looker wouldn't have guessed that we'd kissed the night before.

At first I didn't mind too much because I was still trying to collect my thoughts together, put the tiny puzzle pieces Oliver occasionally provided together. It wasn't until lunch that a flame ready to destroy anything and anyone in its path grew in me. I went outside with my jacket on like I did daily because apparently my sudden inabilities to withstand barely cool weather were due to my injury. I nearly dropped my plate as I approached the table I shared with Oliver and Mya.

They sat closely like a normal couple would. Her head rested on his shoulder like a normal girlfriend would do—though I noticed her head was too big for his neck space. And with his hand that wasn't around her he called me over like a normal best friend would. But I knew none of this was normal. Especially not after last night; none of it could be normal any longer, yet all day he'd been acting like it was, and I seriously wanted to hurt him for it.

"Hey guys! Um, Oliver, Senora Carter needs to speak to you," I stood there as calmly as possible as he slid himself off the bench.

"Dang it, I hope it's not about my lame essay."

I shrugged, "Wait up, I'll walk with you, I forgot something in my locker."

As soon as we were out of Mya's sight I angrily turned toward him.

"If she makes me redo it I'm gonna be pissed! I stayed up till 3am doing that"—

"Oliver, just shut up and listen!" I cut him off. "So you're just going to kiss me and then go on with your girlfriend the next day as if nothing happened? What the hell, Oliver?"

"Okay… you're going to have to not say that so loudly," he said putting his hands on my shoulders and looking around.

I forcefully shrugged them off. "Answer me, or I swear I'll walk up right up to her right now and tell her!" I had no intention of doing that but as far as I remembered, Oliver had always been a gullible one.

He sighed, clearly afraid. "You're right, I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry, I truly am."

He bit his lip and then looked at me with a pleading face. I waited for more and then realized he was still afraid I'd tell Mya. Oh so still gullible. "I won't tell her!" I rolled my eyes.

But his face expression didn't change much. He shook his head, "Thanks, but that's not it." He lowered his voice, "Didn't you listen to the CD?"

As I've remarked so often, Oliver usually looked away during our conversations but at the moment his eyes hadn't left mine since my threat, making my eyes dart around for freedom. "Like, the first two songs…" It reminded me to ask him about that Love Story song.

"Listen to _all_ of it. It'll explain."

"Explain what?" His eyes had a creepy way of calming me down.

He stood there for a few seconds as if figuring out how to answer. "Everything, k?"

--

Doesn't take a genius to figure that my earlier conversation with Oliver lead me nowhere. _"It'll explain… everything"_. What's that even supposed to mean? What _is_ everything? And how on earth does he expect a couple of songs to define it.

This is why I decided to ask Mya for a ride home at the end of the day. Oliver said they'd been dating for two years which is almost half of the memory I need. If she wanted to keep a pretense friendship with me, the least she could do was help me.

"Ready to go?" She asked as I ran up to her car.

"Yeah, sorry I had to run back to English because I forgot my jacket in there."

We got in and silence surrounded us. "So… how was your day?" She attempted.

I mentally rolled my eyes. "Um, good, but there's something I gotta ask you."

"Shoot," she said enthusiastic for a conversation.

"So, as you probably can tell, Oliver blatantly refuses to tell me anything to help me with my memory—I mean, look how long it took him to tell me even about you guys." She chuckled uncomfortably. I wondered if we could ever have had a conversation like this if my memory was in place. "_So_ I wondered if you could help me!" I tried to make this sound joyful, but I couldn't help but dread anything that was to come out of her mouth for some reason.

She slowly nodded and puffed her cheeks. She played with the air caught in her mouth for a few seconds and then exhaled. "Okay… what do you want me to tell you?"

"Everything!" I practically leaped in her lap with excitement. But I didn't.

She obviously looked uneasy with the idea even if her eyes hadn't moved from the road. "Umm… hmm… Well, there are some things that I'm probably not the best person to tell you though"—

"Fine, fine," I flipped my hand along with the idea, already hearing the excuses. "What about relationships…? Oliver told me I used to date a Jason?" I asked this carefully. I was talking to the girlfriend of my best friend aka my deep crush.

"Yeah, Jason Lee Parker." I mentally made a note to self: I date guys who think they're too amazing for just a first name basis. Gross. "Cool dude basically, though you did break up with him in May, I believe. Some time between prom and graduation."

"…Because he was graduating?" I asked again, hoping Oliver liked her for her honesty.

She shrugged as if forcing herself to, "That was your story. To tell you the truth, I personally didn't quite believe you... but that was my own opinion of course."

I nodded; this was the truth I was after. Why was I suddenly starting to feel like a detective? "Anybody else?"

"That you've dated?"

"Sure. And, um, Oliver if you don't mind. Him being such a big part of my life, I think that knowing about him would help too, you know." I tried to add smoothly.

"You've… each had your share of relationships, I guess. I don't really know what to tell you…"

She was beginning to sound like Oliver. She finally pulled into my driveway and I realized that she may have taken the longer way. I got out, "Thanks… I guess."

"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you much. It's just that for some of that stuff I'm not sure I'm the best person to inform you…"

I didn't bother invite her in, using my injury as reason and we left it off at that. I shut my door knowing I would have a lot of thinking to do only to hear the doorbell ring. _What does she want?_

A girl about my height, orangish-red hair with a punk look to her stood in front of me. "Here all done and sounding great. Best of luck to ya." Her voice was annoyingly monotone but that's all she said. I figured I was also supposed to know her though I couldn't recall even seeing her at school. From the side of her backpack she took out a CD with my name scribbled on it, handed it to me, and left. Just like that. Obviously she hadn't gotten the amnesia memo.

Had I stepped into the age of CDs or something? Was that how everyone communicated? This CD didn't say anything else besides my name—_spelled __wrong!_--so I quickly stuck it in my computer—once again, for curiosity's sake.

Only one track. I didn't recognize the song but it was sung live. It was definitely either a love song or quite a passionate one. And though it took me a while, I realized, it was being sung by me.

* * *

**Wowww, a shizzload of stuff happened this chapter! I'm sorry I had to crunch it up like that :/ Does that mean longer reviews? Lol xoxCamy**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm so proud of myself; I only needed a dictionary for one of those Spanish words—ceiling because we barely went over that one! (Read and you'll know what I'm rambling about). Enjoy (:**

* * *

The CDs, Oliver, Mya, Jason Lee Parker, the mysterious red-headed punkette, the kiss, my amnesia—I had to toss them all to the back of my mind for the finals coming up. Okay, so I still had to deal with my amnesia but I tried my best not to let it affect my every single step. I looked over my exams schedule in my planner. All the subjects hadn't needed much previous knowledge, so I was somewhat at the same level as everybody else. Pre-calculus and Spanish on the other hand required every single lesson I had ever received in each subject—which I could not remember a single one. And that's where the amnesia thing came back to haunt me.

"_¿__Liliana, que es la fecha de hoy?"_

My head snapped back up at the Spanish alteration of my name, but I had no idea what the words following meant. Or maybe I did but she spoke so quickly, who could follow her? Then again maybe I could, if I remembered how to. I sighed and shrugged.

"She's asking what date it is," Oliver whispered beside me.

Without looking at him I smiled to show my thanks. "_Hoy es el 13 de diciembre, 2009."_

"_¡__Muy__bien__!_" Sra. Carter glowed and wrote it on the top corner of the board.

I frowned; I knew I didn't know how to say December, even less 2009. But as I stared at the board I knew it was _el_ _pizarrón._

The clock _reloj_.

The desk _mesa_.

The books _libros_. And everything else under the ceiling—which was _el techo _by the way.

I wanted to stand and shout "My Spanish's back!" But I knew there was more to it.

"Way to go! I see you've been studying on your own, huh." Hearing Oliver's compliment reminded me why I was in this hardcore class in the first place. It was the only class everything was just… _bueno._ Somehow speaking in another language obliged us to let go of anything going on beyond these four walls, or _paredes_. It was a far reach but when I applied for it, I knew there was no way around it. We needed this class together; it had the capacity to save us someday. Somehow.

When I glanced at him, he no longer appeared like a strange and older version of himself. I didn't need to do that double take I'd been doing for the last few months. He just looked like Oliver, because I now remembered the day he showed up with his new hair-do a year and a half ago. The one that attempted to cover the boy I'd grown up with for some sort of male version of his girlfriend. If it weren't for that minor detail, I would have said he looked awesome, smokin' even, but because I knew the reasoning behind it I never passed a chance to remind him I hated it.

I slowly raised my hand and asked to go to the bathroom which I also skillfully knew how to say in Spanish, and used my head trauma as an excuse.

The moment I stepped in the bathroom, I rushed to the mirrors and starred at myself.

I remembered. I remembered _everything._ Especially the day when I'd started forgetting.

Oliver was gone for the weekend with his family on their annual weekend trip before school starts. I always went with them, ever since the third grade when Oliver suddenly decided to invite me. It was as much an Oken tradition as it was a tradition between Oliver and me. Those weekends always made it in my Hall of Favorite Summer Memory for each year. But this year was different.

Out of courtesy, Oliver asked me if I was coming and out of courtesy I said I wasn't. He didn't try to change my mind, and I didn't try to come up with an excuse. These last few years had been different. I knew it, he knew it, heck even his parents knew it. And neither of us looked forward to another awkward weekend of pretense as if things were the same when we knew they weren't. So I simply didn't go.

But it wasn't that easy. You don't just toss aside tradition and move on. I was angry—a habitual emotion to my brain by now, and it knew exactly how to unleash it by skateboarding.

I've been a skateboarder since the fifth grade and a competitor since junior high. I don't just "do some trick" and then "lose my balance". Especially not with a trick I had invented and perfected for the last two years. No, I had lost my concentration. Or, to be more specific, it was eaten up by that same anger I had been in the process of releasing. The same anger which had brought me so high in the air flung me back down as I made eye-contact with its source—its dark-haired, pink-lipped, double-initialed, female source. She looked up just in time for me to screech when I realized I had lost contact of my skateboard.

To onlookers, I was lucky she was there to help me out. To me, she was the reason I got into this position to start with.

I hastily turned the faucet on and splashed water over my face. Today was December 13th, and I remembered it just as I remembered the day before that and the one before that. I bit my lip till I punctured it as I fought back tears while I realized the wicked trick my brain had pulled on me.

December 13th, the day I started remembering because it was the day I annually tried to forget. The national anti-Valentine's day if you want. That day Oliver's beanie covered his eyes to a point of unrecognizable. That day, even the Spanish walls couldn't make things _bueno_. That day, three years ago, Oliver broke up with me.

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**I know, I know, I'm weird. I go from ridiculously long chapter to ridiculously short. I think this is the shortest chapter I've ever written, while the previous one was the longest lol. I'm sorry, but yeah… I will attempt to update even sooner so you don't go crazy with anticipation :/ Meanwhile you can review (: xoxCamy **

**PS. Just in case you don't know, bueno means good. (: Now you're not missing out!**


	6. Chapter 6

**This chapter's basically a giant flashback. Enjoy (:**

**--**

I slid against the wall behind the bathroom door as the impact of my regained memory continued.

Oliver and I have known each other since preschool, typical best friend story; we were inseparable from then on. Something happened in sixth grade, though. I've no idea what and I've no idea how. I don't have a sweet story behind it or a cute moment (though there were many). It just happened. He was still Oliver Oscar Oken. I was still Lillian Rose Truscott. But somewhere in the mayhem of getting ready to go on to higher education, I knew that I no longer thought of Oliver as just as a best friend anymore.

It wasn't this huge hit of 'oh my gosh I need you _now_'; it increased gradually. Things we used to do just for the fun of it, I started taking differently. I examined every word he said, every touch, every glance. Probably became a slight bit obsessive I'll say. Although it would be the ordinary thing to do, it never occurred to me that this sudden crush on my best friend could be the beginning of a destruction of our friendship. You know, the beginning of the end. I was a bit out of my mind and everything I did was based on feeling rather than reason—like when I let him slow dance with me at our graduation party summer of 2004 though I knew I would die with butterflies.

It's not as if the moment the song started I knew that it would end with me suddenly deciding to unveil my deepest secret at the time. Nor that we apparently shared that same secret. No, I had no idea, but that's how it all started.

Many moments in my life I referred to as the best day of my life, or even the best week. Well, dating Oliver was undoubtedly the best two and a half years of my life. Even with my memory back I could barely recall specific times. It was just the feeling. As absolutely cheesy and cliché as this is, he completed me. It was as simple as that. It was that higher step in our relationship that we needed; that I needed. And I thought he needed it too.

December 13th, 2006. Now simply referred to as 12/13. How the whole school got in on this I don't even know, I guess when two people who've been attached at the hip like us break each other's hearts it becomes epic news.

Well, try being the one hearing it for the first time. The day itself wasn't as grandiose at it's been made to seem over the years; nonetheless I've lost a part of me since.

He'd called asking if I wanted to go somewhere. It was already fairly dark outside when he came so my stomach tingled with surprise at what we could possibly do at such a time. When he came though, he changed his mind and decided we just sit on my front steps.

I didn't mind, just being in his proximity was good enough for me. It had been a busy week, with our first high school finals and whatnot, so we hadn't really spoken as much. Yet as we sat in front of my house, neither of us spoke up. I figured he asked me out, he'll speak first. But he just stared into the dark sky.

"What's wrong?" I remember the slight tension I felt when I said those words. I usually didn't have to ask Oliver what was wrong, he just told me and then I'd ask him what the heck he was talking about. But it worked that way, it kept me worriless.

I bit my lip in anticipation as he twitched a bit. I'd started to create a list of all the possible things he could be about to say. We had already said our "I Love You's" (we didn't wait too long), so it made the list slightly difficult. I stared intensively at him as if not looking at him would make me miss something.

"Do you ever think…" He stopped. I wished I could just pull it out of him. He abruptly turned my direction. "Why are we together?"

Talk about not expecting that. I opened my mouth, but I didn't really know what to say so I let him go on. Some questions have so many answers there's no way to actually answer.

"Do you ever think that we're just trying to follow some sort of… _cliché_?" I twisted my face in confusion. "Childhood best friends, get feelings for each other in their teenage years, fall in love and live happily ever after?"

Really you think this would be about the time I'd speak up, but I had yet to come up with something. I felt like we were playing dodgeball and I was his main target.

"Lils don't get me wrong, I care about you I really do but…" he sighed. "We can be there for each other, without necessarily being _with_ each other, right?"

I wondered if he knew I was crying. Somehow I managed to do so soundlessly and it was probably too dark to notice. At the same, he couldn't hear my heart crack either.

And then he asked me how I felt about him; as if that would change anything. You'd think that would be the first thing he'd ask me; my answer would have probably been different. "As of right now, I hate you."

We sat there for a few more seconds. I've told him I hated him multiple times in our lifetime, but I think this time it actually sunk into him. Somehow we wordless stood at the same time and went our opposite ways. He'd thrown every dogdgeball and although I couldn't run anymore I'd saved up enough energy to throw one back. Just one. And it managed to hurt just as much as the dozen he'd thrown at me.

--

After an event like that most friendships are done. Forever forgotten, never forgiven. We tried that, but like I've said, when you're as close to someone as Oliver and I were there's really nothing you can do to get away—unless they died of course.

No, instead, after we let the initial steam blow off we continued to be "friends". A new type of friendship though. The kind where we fought over everything and anything. And I don't mean the cute bickering we've always done; no we simply loved to anger each other. We were blunter, more than any two people should be really. Nothing hid underneath the surface any longer. It's as if we remained friends only to have more quality time to remind each other of how much we hated each other. Kind of sickening.

In the midst of our mindless fights, he got a girlfriend. Mya McIntire, summer of 2007. I don't know what angered me more, his getting a girlfriend or the girlfriend herself. I've heard a certain comment many times and although I pretend to ignore it it's undeniably true. Before we dated, all of Oliver's interests had an uncanny likeness to me. Mya was basically the anti-me.

From then on, all the anger I used to release onto Oliver shifted to her. Just like with Oliver, I hung out with her for the main purpose of letting her know I couldn't stand her. I seriously needed to look up the meaning of friendship in the dictionary because all of mine were failures.

--

When you thought things couldn't get worse in the "friendship" that was Oliver and I, Jason Lee Parker happened.

To this day I'm still unsure why I dated him. It's true he was one of the few people who managed to make me laugh without my wanting to kill him, but dating him was the wrong approach.

Our being together wasn't really the big deal. He was just another guy at the school, fairly popular, the type freshmen girls would initially get a crush on until they found out besides the dark hair and green eyes combo he really wasn't that special. And a bit of a jerk. Yet I took the plunge and dated him.

Being the blunt best friend he'd become, Oliver didn't spare a chance to remind me that I was only dating JLP because I was jealous of Mya. So when, I ended up needing Oliver's rescuing from Jason, I never heard the end of it.

It was a small beach party pre-graduation last year. A few drinks but no one necessarily getting drunk. Loud music, but only a few brave souls dancing. For the most part everyone was somewhere in the trees making out. I was aware Oliver and Mya were somewhere on the same grounds, but because we hadn't bothered to let each other know of our presence I didn't think about it.

Jason and I first took a walk by the beach, which turned into a dancing twirl, which turned into an odd combination of kissing and walking, and then being the obvious jerk he was he tried to go even further than that. It's not like I hadn't seen it coming though. He was, after all, Jason Lee Parker. I had even rehearsed a quick speech for this moment.

I pushed him away. "Jason, there's something you need to understand"—

His lips broke off my words.

"Dude, would you back off and let me speak for a sec."

He held on to my hand as he tried to drag me to somewhere more secluded but when I said that he suddenly let go and I yelped as I fell to the sand. Instead of helping me up, he figured he would just crawl on top of me.

It wasn't the best of situations but _I didn't need his help_.

'His' being Oliver. 'Help' meaning shoving Jason off into the water and then knocking him out.

"Lilly, are you okay?"

My eyes widened as I pushed him to the side, "Don't 'are you okay' me! What the hell Oliver?!" I ran to the water and dragged my knocked out boyfriend to the sand.

"Would you leave that jerk alone and worry about yourself?"

"Are you freakin' kidding me you could have killed him! That's water! Water _drowns_ people when they're knocked out cold. Something I didn't even ask you to do!" I alternated between yelling at Oliver and trying to wake Jason up.

"For goodness sakes don't you even realize the shit you just got yourself into! You're lucky I was there! Let me take you home."

"You know what, you have an effin' girlfriend to take care of, so leave me the hell alone." By now he knew I was pissed because that's when I cussed the most.

"I'm just being there for you!"

"Oh, so when it's me I'm being jealous but with you you're 'just being there for me'?!" I looked back between him and Jason, and at the moment cared to be with neither of them. "Leave me alone, I can take myself home."

In other words, I walked. When I broke up with Jason a few weeks later, Oliver knew exactly why but I didn't give him the satisfaction of being right and said it was because I didn't believe in long distance relationships.

That was the last straw. By that I'd told him I didn't want him as much as he'd told me he didn't want me on 12/13.

--

I opened my eyes. So much had happened. Too much. I wished I was amnesiac again. Oliver and I had managed to grow close lately even with all that behind us. He'd become my best friend again because by forgetting it's as if I'd forgiven him, but with my memory back on this 12/13 I wasn't sure I wanted to make it that easy for him.

I drew myself back together and re-entered the classroom. He first just glanced up but then did a double take which made me guess I looked like I had been hit by a truck.

"Lilly, are you okay?"

Words I'd heard before. And each time he really was just being there for me. Whether I let him or not. And that's when I realized why I took this class in the first place. I needed Oliver in my proximities at least once a day for my own sanity because it wasn't long until after we broke up that I knew the answer to his question.

When he asked me how I felt about him. I should have told him the truth. Maybe it wouldn't have changed much, but then again maybe it would have. I didn't hate him.

I smiled and nodded. _No, I'm not okay Oliver Oken, I loved you._

**----**

**Why was this so difficult to write?? My goodness. Well I hope you liked it… I know the end isn't all that great but I'll try to get better… xoxCamy**


	7. Chapter 7

**Losing my laptop & **_**intense**_** writer's block = horrid combo. But let's see what I can make of it... Enjoy (:**

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I decided to keep my remembering a secret. Well, I didn't really decide, it just kind of rolled out that way. When Mya said hi to me the next morning I didn't know whether to say hi back or be the old Lilly that would growl at her, so I pretended I didn't hear her and kept walking. I couldn't get myself to give Oliver's beanie back, and I knew he would kill me for even touching it if he knew I was the old Lilly again.

Old Lilly; new Lilly. I was still Lilly for goodness sakes! Just the 'new' me got to go through the heartbreak that is Oliver Oken—lucky me. I considered recreating my accident to dismiss my past but the smart half of my brain talked me out of it. So by the end of it, I decided to just go on with life as a fake amnesiac.

Now I had to go through the struggle of making sure to remember to forget what I wasn't supposed to remember… if that wasn't difficult enough to say, it's even worse to actually attempt doing.

"_¿Liliana, podría hablar contigo después de clase, por favor?_" Sra. Carter interrupted the mindless chatter of the class. The final she had written was ridiculously easy—though I wouldn't have thought so if I was still amnesiac--and we'd all finished within an hour. For the extra hour remaining, we spoke amongst ourselves as she corrected our exams.

I looked up and nodded, fully understanding what she said now that my memory was back. So it slightly startled me when Oliver whispered, "She asked if she could talk to you before class."

I tried my best not to laugh for I was not supposed to know that he had once again confused the Spanish words for _before_ and _after_. I tried to slyly make him figure this out himself. "Why would she tell me now that she wanted to talk to me _before_ class?"

"Huh, I guess she said after. I always get before and after confused."

I smiled, "I know." My eyes widened and I dropped my smile, "I mean, I don't _know_, I _figured_ since you just—and—you said—never mind."

Luckily, Oliver being Oliver, he didn't even notice my mishap. I shrugged it off and controlled my every word until class ended.

--

Because this was finals week, the end of Spanish class also meant the end of school for the day. I told Oliver I would meet him in the parking lot for my ride home, and approached Sra. Carter as earlier requested.

"What's up _Señora_?" The only reason Sra. Carter was able to speak Spanish was because she'd spent four years studying in Spain. Other than that, outside of the classroom time, she was just another blonde American who overused the word 'like' yet had a handful of teenagers who refered to her as _Se__ñ__ora_ rather than Mrs.

"So I was looking over your test to make sure it wasn't like too difficult for you, and it looks like you did really well. In fact, so far you've only missed like two questions within the first three pages! Oliver must have helped you tremendously."

My mouth did a small 'oh'. In my process of remembering to forget, I didn't think failing my Spanish test would be something else I'd have to consider. "Um, yeah, he helped me a lot but, um, see I got my memory back about a week ago so I was able to study better." I didn't see the point of continuing to lie to her.

Her face lightened up, "Wow, that's great! How did it happen?" She didn't even consider that it meant that for the last few days of class I had only been playing dumb. Unless she thought I really was that dumb.

I shrugged uneasily, "It was just random, really."

"Well, that's wonderful. I'm glad you were able to get through it just in time for your finals," she smiled, wished me happy holidays and with that dismissed me.

As I walked to the door I thought about how lovely it would be if everyone else took the news that well. _You have you're memory back and have been hiding it for a week to take advantage of the perks of an amnesiac? Oh great, have a Merry Christmas then! _

But as I came face to face with Mya, the look on her face let me know that all of reality wasn't that trouble-free. "Oliver realized he can't drive you home, so he sent me." I knew there was more so I waited, and indeed it came out, "You little lying son of a bitch."

"I'm gonna take a wild guess and say you heard the conversation that just took place in there."

"Ya think? So this whole amnesia thing was just a façade of yours to—to what? To get me to actually think you were a good person for a while? To get Oliver to actually care about you again?"

Of all people, I didn't need this from her. "Hey! I only got my memory back a week ago. And maybe I need to remind you that Oliver is and will always be my best friend no matter what happens. So I don't need to pretend anything to know that he cares."

She raised her eyebrows, "Oh really? It's funny, you may have you're memory back but you still seem to be missing some points. Do I need to remind _you_ of all the crap you put him through over the last few years?"

I really didn't need this from her, and I told her exactly that.

"Fine," she shrugged, "Why don't we wait and see what Oliver himself would have to say about this."

Usually I'd be able to take down any threat of hers, but I didn't currently feel in any position to do so. Just as always, she would find her way to meddle things between Oliver and me to get us to be at odds with each other but not this time. I took in a deep breath so as to be able to speak calmly, "Look, just a few minutes ago you were coming to me as a friend. Suddenly I regain my memory and it's the end of the world again?" I sighed, "I'm not asking you to be friends, really I could care less what you think of me, just don't tell him. I can handle that myself and I don't need you being a catalyst to the situation."

She held this snotty gaping look on her face, "Oh, so your situation with my boyfriend is none of my problem?"

I narrowed my eyes, "My situation with my best friend is none of your problem."

"Your sit— "

"Please," I cut her off. And with one stern look finalized it there. I knew she wouldn't rush right over and tell him, but at the same time I knew I didn't have much time until she decided to do so.

--

As I flipped through a random magazine, an article about Taylor Swift reminded me of _Love Story_ from Oliver's CD. I realized if I were to listen to it now, I could probably make much more sense out of it.

And I did. First four songs? Essentially our falling in love. In what order, why there are four songs, or why those exact songs? I'm unsure. As much as I'd like to think I understand that boy, even I have to admit the way his brain functions is quite a mystery.

_Don't Speak_ and _Hope It Gives You Hell _basically could have been the anthem of our break up. Didn't need much explanation, we hated each other. Eventually that hate diffused as we realized we couldn't completely live without the other even when we tried to replace each other, which I'm guessing he represented in the following songs _Hate That I Love You _and _Mr. Brightside_.

As far as I'm concerned, _Mr. Brightside _would appropriately depict where we are now in our relationship—dating other people with the occasional jealousy and bitter reminder of what we used to be--so I didn't understand the addition of _Careless Whisper_. Nor, it's meaning. So just like I had done with _Love Story_ I listened repeatedly to the last track for sudden clarification.

_I should have known better than to cheat a friend  
And waste the chance that I'd been given  
So I'm never gonna dance again  
The way I danced with you_

--

I couldn't stand it. I just couldn't anymore. And it's for that reason that I now sat in the Oken's driveway, except this time I sat in my own car. The one I hadn't driven in months for I had forgotten how to, and then once remembered, still couldn't do so for it would be an easy clue that my memory had returned. By this point, only three people knew this—Sra. Carter, Mya, and my mom. Although more people were involved in my life, I felt as if the last person that needed to know resided in this very house. No matter how many people I told, it still didn't feel right until Oliver knew—even though I knew it would mean the end of the friendship we'd manage to rebuild.

I got out of the car, took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. Before leaving the car, I'd taken off his beanie so as to perhaps lead him onto the news. But then again, this was Oliver, denser than ever.

"Hey Lils." I noticed his shoes and sunglasses—which he now usually just tucked into his shirt--were still on; probably had just gotten home from school. This made sense for I had asked a friend of mine (now that I remembered who she was) for a ride home and only momentarily after arriving did I decide to wander on over here. "When did you get home? I couldn't find you afterschool and neither could Mya."

I wondered whether I could come up with a lie that would make any sense, but then figured the truth would suit just fine. "Um, I asked Alison for a ride home."

"Oh… she was a friend of yours, you know," he said this because he was trying to be helpful to my memory, but I could easily detect a hint of dislike. He hated seeing me with Alison because I would have never started hanging out with her before our distancing from each other.

I slowly nodded, pretending to take this as new information. "Yeah… Can I talk to you?" He obviously still hadn't noticed my free-flowing hair and I was getting impatient.

"Sure," his voice quickly took on an optimistic tone. I wondered if he would ever admit how much he enjoyed our spontaneous hangouts.

I wordlessly walked to my car and he eventually followed. Within a few seconds, the conversation I expected started. "You remembered how to drive?" he asked innocently.

I exhaled, "Yeah… but there's a lot more to it than that."

"What do you mean?"

I reached over to my back seat, "First off, here's your beanie. I don't need it anymore. Thanks."

He stared at it and then at my hair, finally registering that I hadn't been wearing it this whole time. "Huh. Your eyes feeling better?"

I sighed, "Oliver, I got my memory back." I needed to put it out there or else this conversation would go absolutely nowhere.

He raised his eyebrows, "Seriously? You just got home today and got your memory back? That's insane!"

Why the heck was he smiling? "No! No." I shook my head--Take 2; I sighed again. "I regained my memory about a week ago on…on the thirteenth."

He kept staring at me as if I was expected to say more but once what I said sunk in, he abruptly looked away. I could tell he was mentally battling what to be shocked the most about—my lying to him for over a week or that I'd gotten my memory back on 12/13. I opened my mouth for apologizing words but I knew it wasn't the time to do so.

"So… you remember," he spoke slowly leaving me unsure of which news he chose to be shocked by. I nodded. "Everything?"

I frowned; I was staring at the road so I couldn't examine his face for clues on where he was going with that one. "Well, only as much as the average person remembers but yeah, much more than the amnesiac."

"Do you also remember what happened when you were amnesiac?"

As much as I wanted to inform him that was a stupid question, I nodded for I had figured out what tumbled around in his head—the kiss. Silence soon took over the conversation.

"I didn't mean to," he suddenly spoke up. I inhaled sharply. "To kiss you, I mean."

I pretended that if I were to take my eyes off the road for even a mere second, the world would collapse. "_I _kissed you."

"Yeah, but I kissed you back and I wasn't supposed to. I do have a girlfriend." I glanced at him just so he could see the flash of anger in my eyes. "I'm sorry."

I returned to the road to nowhere. "It's okay… it didn't mean anything." Just as I said that I wanted to take it back because I knew it wasn't true.

From my peripheral vision, I could see him bow his head for a second and then intensely stare at me. I anxiously awaited his response. "I know where your memory was."

"What?" It took me a second to follow his train of thoughts, but then I caught up—he knew.

"Basically when you first said you were around the end of sixth grade."

"You knew?!"

"Well, first I just assumed but you quickly proved me right by all your flirting."

"YOU KNEW?!" Really, I didn't care what he assumed or proved or whatever. He knew.

"Lilly, you are still driving," he backed out of the argument for his life's sake.

In about five swift steps we were parked in front of the shopping mall and I was stomping out of the car. As soon as he caught up to me I burst in his face, "I can't believe you kissed me knowing what it meant to me at that point!"

"You just said it didn't mean anything!"

"That's when I didn't know _you knew_!" Fighting in public places was nothing new for us, but it'd been so long that the crowds seemed to have forgotten what it was like and resumed their job of staring again. The difference was I didn't feel the same thrill I used to feel at letting the world know Oliver was a cold-hearted jerk—or whatever else I could come up with. No, this time I actually felt... broken.

"Fine! But what difference does it make now? You got your memory back, you remember how much you hate me so it doesn't mean anything now, does it?" I wasn't sure whether he was asking for a response or just informing me of the state of matters but I still felt it was necessary to answer.

"This isn't about how I felt or… feel"—I quickly cut myself off before any of us could register the last word, "_You_ never had amnesia, you knew exactly what you were doing! You knew I had fallen for you and you led me on, just like you did five years ago." The key to hell breaking loose—I'd mentioned the break-up. I swallowed back tears though I wasn't sure whether they were sad or angry ones. Or everything in between.

He sighed in a way only I could recognize as defeat. He knew, and he knew he knew; he couldn't take that back. "Well what do you want me to do now? For you this is all a reality show or something. One episode, oh Lilly's memory is gone, let's see how the world adjusts to her needs. And in the latest, she's back and angrier than ever! What will the world do?"

I glared at him as I restrained pummeling him to pieces. What the heck was he going on about?

"Well it isn't. For me, this is a continuous nightmare and I just have to keep figuring out a way to not mess everything up—again." He locked eyes with me, and I knew that was his way of apologizing for the pain he'd caused me and himself.

"_Careless Whisper_, what's it supposed to mean?" I hadn't calmed down exactly, but my voice came out a slight softer. There were two parts of me—one that hated Oliver and one that hated seeing Oliver hurt.

"Huh?" He had yet to catch on to the quick subject change.

"I get every song on that CD—for the most part—but Bonus track: _Careless Whisper_? What are you saying?" I made sure not to ask this in an accusatory tone for a better chance at an answer.

Didn't work. "Nothing. It doesn't matter."

"Oliver—"

"We moved on, remember? Leave it at that." I shook my head. "Can you just take us back; I have my Econ final tomorrow."

_Time can never mend  
The careless whispers of a good friend  
To the heart and mind  
Ignorance is kind  
And there's no comfort in the truth  
Pain is all you'll find_

And I was supposed to believe that didn't mean anything. Right.

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**Omgsh, it's never taken me so long to write a chapter. Seriously I've been working on this for like a week. I hope, it came out okay. I finally got some inspiration around the middle so hopefully the beginning didn't suck so much you didn't bother read till there cuz I actually somewhat like it from the middle on. Review and let me know! (: xoxCamy**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hah, hmm yeah, first week of college and fanfic writing do not mix—Sorry. Hopefully you haven't forgotten the whole story lol Enjoy (:**

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Christmas break is so serene. It's a time of rest, peace, love, and harmony. It's when you hang out as much as possible with your friends because you couldn't during the previous weeks of torturous finals, and perhaps even have a joint party. It's beautiful, just beautiful.

Unless your name is either Lilly Truscott or Oliver Oken. In that case, your so-called friendship is so torn that no amount of peace, love, harmony, or voicemails could get the latter to talk to you. And if you're Lilly in this situation, you get the feeling that this time, it just may be for good.

Alright enough third person talk, that's something _he_ would do. Ugh.

We've been best friends for centuries, yes, but some mistakes rendered themselves unforgivable—unless you were to forget them first. This is where I point to myself. But now I remembered, and couldn't help but feel like my old self... kind of, because I also couldn't ignore what had happened in between.

It's one problem that I didn't go to the summer weekend retreat; it's another that we didn't wish each other a Merry Christmas or Happy New Year, or at least attempted to hang out before school started again. A much graver problem.

So as I starred into the locker I had abandoned for two weeks, I didn't bother look up at the easily recognizable voice of Oliver because I knew exactly what would happen. We'd lock eyes for a few seconds, share a moment of 'I hate you/I'm so sorry' (it's interchangeable who's saying what each time), and then look away swiftly pretending it never even happened. What's the point of making something happen if mere seconds later I'm going to pretend it hadn't.

The ridiculous part of all this was before my amnesia, we would have at least exchanged a basic 'Hi, how are you?' During my amnesia, that conversation would have gone more in-depth like the close best friends we used to be. Now…? Well, now we've resorted to ignoring each other's existence completely. Such progress.

I continued starring at the back of my locker grimly until the bell shook me out of it and I dragged myself to class.

--

Due to my mother's poor scheduling, I gathered another two extra days of vacation travelling north for a check-up on my head. Truly, the only reason I felt happy about this extra mini-vacation mid-week was for the relief of the strain that is constantly ignoring Oliver. It wasn't too difficult since we did only have one class together, but those few moments when we happened to run into each other—I could go a lifetime without the pain. I could ramble on about how idiotic this whole ordeal is, but why bother? Rambling to myself has never changed anything and thinking about him is definitely not going to improve the situation.

So on the first day of my return to school I hung out with Alison, "just like the good old times before I lost it and started liking what's-his-dorky-face again" as she so lovingly described it. This is the part where everyone wonders why I ever became friends with Alison. Same reason I ever dated Jason. For which I still lack a justifiable reason.

"Talking about what's-his-face," she continued as we closed our lockers. I leaned against mine and she stood there because she had some long explanation about leaning on school properties. I don't get it either.

"His name is Oliver," I interrupted. She twisted her face in confusion on why I would defend the boy I claimed to hate so much. "Just… in case you forgot," I smiled.

She rolled her eyes, "I'm not the one who had amnesia, silly! Anyways, he needs to tell his ex-girlfriend to take a chill pill."

I starred at her trying to follow her train of thought. As far as I was concerned, I was his ex-girlfriend and I was perfectly chill. Well, for the most part—but that was beside the point. "Um, what?"

"Ever since they broke up she's been like a complete biotch to everyone," Alison whined.

This time my eyebrows furrowed a bit as I looked around me for a clue. "Alison, I'm right here, thank you very much. What are you talking about?"

She now looked at me in confusion, as if it wasn't enough for one of us to be lost in this conversation. "Haven't you heard? Mya broke up with him."

"With Oliver?"

"Yah, unless she was dating anyone else. Duh Lilly."

I would say here that my mouth dropped or my eyes widened, but none of this happened. I wasn't shocked, or happy, or sad. Surprised? Perhaps a bit, but even this I did not show. "Huh… wow."

"Okay, can we go now? My sister needs a ride some place again." I ignored her lack of enthusiasm for this chore as I made my own realization.

"Brooke!" I gasped.

"Yeah, that would be her name. …Are you sure that hospital said you were okay?" She felt my forehead—as if that would reveal anything--before I had time to swat her off.

Of course I wouldn't have been able to make the connection because unlike her younger sister Allison was much taller, a sandy-blonde, not CD-making oriented, and most definitely not punk. "I've gotta go," I rushed out before she could ask anymore questions.

--

I sat at my desk listening to the said CD with a pile of old pictures and an overheated scanner. And a slight headache that came with hearing my voice singing a Shania Twain song over and over again as I completed my masterpiece. I wiped of a tear at the last fading frame, saved it and put the CD back into a new case I named "When?" and not "A montage of the good old days before Lilly & Oliver ruined their friendship accompanied by a heartbreaking sing-along" as Oliver would have probably so horribly named it.

As long as all that took, I knew the hardest part had yet to come—actually giving this to Oliver. Something I may have done months ago if I hadn't completely forgotten about my plan.

--

An entire weekend went by with no response. I knew they checked their mail daily because it was part of Mr. Oken's routine. Maybe I hadn't put it in the right mailbox? I dismissed the idea as quickly as I brought it up. The simple truth was that he was ignoring me.

Back in locker-examining position, I sighed hopelessly. I'd run out of ideas, out of escape routes, out of luck. _Even if I did get amnesia again, I doubt he'd take the risk to talk to me again_, I thought as I saw him walk my way. I looked down for the sake of not torturing myself, but suddenly besides my pair of purple converse appeared a black set of worn down ones of which I could recognize the owner without even looking up. But I did anyways.

Before saying anything, I noticed he held the CD. When he lifted his arm, I half expected him to chuck it at my face and run off laughing. Yeah, I'm no longer amnesiac but there's still the crazy. "I got your CD," he stated.

I nodded. "Good, I was afraid I'd put in the wrong mailbox…"

A teensy hint of a smile appeared on his face, "Well, that'd be sad considering you should know fairly well where I live by now."

"Very true." I closed my locker and swung my backpack on.

"I listened to it too."

"Yeah? I mean, I hoped you would 'cause that's what most people do with CDs." He chuckled under his breath causing me to smile which I quickly hid when he looked back up.

"Well when you just titled it 'When?' I couldn't help but be curious." I nodded. "Do you wanna talk… or something?"

I considered asking what 'or something' stood for but I let it go immediately. "Sure. Well, I gotta go to class so—"

"I'll walk with you." We looked at each other and held in our laughter when we realized we'd already been walking this entire time.

Jokes aside, the silence caught up with us as we ran out of small talk. "How's… it been…going?" I tried.

He shrugged, "Getting used to the single life again, but I guess you know about that already."

I opened my mouth to refute but instead nodded. "Yeah, Alison caught me up. But I don't always believe what she says, you know." He shrugged again. "Are you okay?"

He gave me a look as if he didn't think I'd care. It took him a few second but he eventually read my mind—I would never stop caring. "Yeah, I guess."

I gave him a quick reassuring smile. "What… happened?"

He twisted his face. I was looking down and so was he, but we both knew we were trying to sneakily keep tabs on each other's face expressions. "She said I didn't deserve her."

I raised my eyebrows. "Seriously? Are you sure she didn't mean that the other way around?" He shook his head and frowned at me, but I could tell he was smiling inside.

"Something about being in love with someone else."

I narrowed my eyes. "_What?_ How could she?! Who? Aw, Ollie."

His head snapped my way with his eyebrows raised high. _Right, Ollie, not a nickname used on the best friend I haven't talked to in weeks. _Mental slap.

He interrupted the apology I started formulating in my head. "Not her, _Lils_. Me." I did my best to hide my giggles, as I asked him to explain with the frown on my forehead. "She suspects I'm in love with someone else," he quickly clarified.

Giggles gone, my mouth made a big "Oh". I clamped it shut as we continued walking for I decided I failed at small talk.

"Since when can you sing so… well?" I silently thanked him for the subject change.

"Thank you..?"

"Sure. And how the heck did you get pictures from our Kindergarten graduation? Neither of our moms was there. And I know my dad certainly didn't take pictures."

"Your grandparents were!"

"_How_—"

"I have my ways Oliver Oken," I grinned.

He laughed, "Of course you do. Well, they were cute. …You were cute."

My grin refused to leave my face. "Again, thank you..?" We suddenly stopped walking, abruptly making me face my math class and the end of a re-bonding with Oliver. I sighed; just one more reason to hate that place.

"Have fun in pre-cal," he teased.

I rolled my eyes, "Don't I always?" Unwilling to say goodbye to him, just in case that meant for longer than a class period, I gloomily made my way to my desk and set my backpack down. A few others filed in with me, one of them taking the seat next to me. I glared at the poor guy, but with good intentions. I didn't want him there. More specifically, he didn't belong there, but it was my fault that the person who was supposed to always accompany me during class had scheduled their Pre-cal class for the afternoon instead. I couldn't handle the prospect of sitting through this miserable class—not miserable because it was pre-calculus but miserable because it was without Oliver.

I suddenly ran outside of the classroom only to see the occupation of my mind still standing right were I left him. No small talk needed, I jumped into his arms and held on tightly. I breathed in deeply, missing being this close to his warmth, not thinking it could have ever happened again. And I let the joyful tears soak through his jacket.

He whispered into my ear, "I guess we better check the trees for money now, huh?" I glanced at him and laughed, then returned to his hold knowing that this time he wouldn't let me go.

_When will I wake up?__  
__Why did we break up?__  
__When will we make up?__  
__  
__When money grows on trees__  
__People live in peace__  
__Everyone agrees  
__  
__When happiness is free__  
__Love can guarantee__  
__You'll come back to me-that's when_

_-When, _Shania Twain

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**That is the song Lilly sang in her little montage CD, just in case you didn't catch that. If you've never heard of it--**_watch?v=tjZpPpWsvmY_. **It's very beautiful (:**

**Aw, it's over. If you recall I did say first chapter this would be an 8-chap and I managed to keep to my promise! lol I'm sorry I thought I'd have this finished before I started getting busy again but that was a negative. Oh well, it's done now and I hope you liked it (: The ending of the book was also not cheesy so that's why I tried to follow the same path for this ending. Review dear faithful readers—for the last time under this title-- xoxCamy**


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